There are two major complaints I hear from my writer clients – they don’t finish anything. They can’t keep writing when it seems easier to start something new. Is this you? Consider what you’re avoiding when you jump to something new. There can be legitimate reasons to give up on a project, but are you sure it’s not just avoidance?
You’re writing along, and something gets hard. You push back from your desk. You feel bad.
Does this sound at all familiar? You feel bad.
Comfort… you quickly want to feel better. There’s chocolate. That’s a quick fix. TV?
Cheap Valorization… There’s so many things that need cleaning, organizing, making, baking – things you could be doing that would help you feel better, more valuable, more worthy.
Taking on others’ needs and requests… people need you right? It would be easy to shift the bad feeling about not writing to a bad feeling for not helping. So fixable, just stop and help them. You feel better and forget all about writing. You’re too busy, too in demand.
It is hard to feel deserving of the time and space you need to write. It is harder still to sit with bad feelings. They’re uncomfortable. They need “fixing.” But don’t weaken. Get yourself back into your work. (PS, it’ll feel good.)
Use a series of mantras to recenter on your work.
This is the CENTER tool from Dr. Eric Maisel in his book Coaching the Artist Within.
- C – ome to a complete stop.
- E – mpty yourself of expectation
- N – ame your work
- T – rust your resources
- E – mbrace the Present Moment
- R – eturn with Strength
When you push back from your desk and feel discouraged, try to CENTER again, using Mantras (below) that help you meet each of the actions listed above, and get you back to work, refreshed.
Each step has its mantra, said on a breath, in and out. Each mantra, brings you closer to being centered and refreshed. The words below are spoken to yourself on the inhale and exhale of your breath. I use parentheses to separate the sentences into the (inhale) and (exhale) parts of your breath.
- inhale (I am completely) exhale (stopping)
- (I expect) (nothing)
- (I am writing) (…) name it
- (I trust) (my resources)
- (I embrace) (this moment)
- (I return) (with strength)
You can do this even as you sit at your desk. It can be an intervention between when you push back, and before you stand up and leave your work. The simple assertion of what I am actually doing – inhale (I am writing) exhale (my novel) – brings me out of wandering and judgmental thoughts. My resolve returns.
Try this, breathing in on the first phrase and out on the second phrase. At the end of 6 deep breaths and a calming of your mind, you do, in fact, return with strength.
For more tools, shared turbulence and trusted space, come to the Write Without the Fight FB group.