When I quit smoking, I smoked. I know, not how you’re supposed to quit, but quitting smoking is the hardest “quit” I’ve ever undertaken.
Anyway, yes I’d quit, even put years of non-smoking behind me, but there were times when I couldn’t resist smoking.
My grandmother’s funeral was one of them. Her daughter, my aunt, was a nun, and nuns smoke! They were everywhere, having interesting conversations, smoking.
Another was when I used to visit a neighbor, Luz, in the mornings. We had begun taking each other’s babies to care for two mornings each a week. She’d get Monday and Wednesday mornings off, and I’d get Tuesdays and Thursdays. And Luz smoked. Most often, both babies were napping in the early morning, and Luz and I were so isolated and exhausted that we’d spend part of our would-be free time smoking and talking. I’d quit smoking about 18 months by then, so it was a big risk.
With Luz, and at my grandmother’s funeral, I adhered to some rules, even as I let myself smoke. I would never smoke 2 days in a row. I knew it took 3 days to become addicted again to nicotine, so 1 day at a time was my risk budget. I never smoked 2 days in a row. What I didn’t know then, is your brain reattaches to any habit (addictive or not) in four days.
I smoked here and there for the first decade I’d quit smoking. Never two days in a row. It has no appeal to me anymore (not a sentence I ever thought I’d express or feel.)
What does smoking teach us about habits (good and bad)?
It takes 4 days to lay in a habit. In 4 days your resistance will diminish, and your ego will begin to support the new “status quo.”
We have written daily in the 100 Writing Days of Summer program for four days now, and to not write now feels wrong.
Day 1 – OMG, I’m doing it.
Day 2 – wow, this is going great
Day 3 – this is working
Day 4 – this is what I do
It’s just how our brains work. We temporize for 3 days, and then it’s established. We have words for “today,” “tomorrow” “the next day” but it becomes vague thereafter. This is true in all languages, from what I understand, bec it is not just a construct of language, but follows the construct of our minds.
If you’ve written with me this week – bravo! Let’s keep it going next week. I know I’ve reestablished my connection to my novel, and begun in earnest. It is exciting.
If you would like to write with us – ask to join the Write Without the Fight FB group. We’re nearing the end of our 100 Writing Days of Summer program – which is free – and you’re welcome to write with us this summer! 