“Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.”
Ernest Hemingway
Writing is a solitary sport. You can’t write a major piece without spending a lot of time alone. And this may work for you. Many writers are introverts and thrive on prolonged alone time. You might even be the type who has to push herself to keep other people in her life.
Some of us are ambiverts – a mix of intro- and extrovert. We like and need time alone, but we also crave people.
But being alone, and being lonely are two very different things. Writing is a way many of us seek to feel less alone. We spend time with characters, dwell in rich, populated worlds with problems we can solve. We connect with the world by going inward.
Sometimes, this is all grand and fun, and we are blessed to be writers.
Are you lonesome tonight?
Sometimes, alone becomes lonely becomes “weird” and even “wrong.” We can get up inside our heads and get lost… stuck… afraid.
“The best thing about writing is you get to explore a thousand different personalities, all by going deep into your own soul. The worst thing? You have to be alone to write… Being alone is very painful. An unsolvable conundrum.”
Sara Paretsky, detective novelist
So, how to solve the conundrum that Sara Paretsky describes so perfectly? How do we sustain alone time without feeling lonely?
We need community
Yes we have families and friends. Most of us even have jobs with people in them. But those lovely and loving people don’t necessarily understand what it takes to write… to be a writer. And so, we need another space – a place to share our writerly thoughts, emotions, conquests and fears. People call it a safe space, but when it’s clicking, it just feels like a fun space. Where do you go to be understood, see people like yourself, and gather strength and reserve for your next long and lonely stretch at the computer. We need each other because, writers are the best weirdos in the world.
Can you sustain belief?
I don’t know a writer in the world who hasn’t felt the judgement from someone who doesn’t think writing is “worth it.” We work long and frustrating hours and for what? It is not always financially rewarding. Can we recognize and validate the other rewards? Personal and creative? And can we put away the big stick we brandish? That productivity stick we beat ourselves up with?
Do you think of writing as productive? Or is it an indulgence? Can you sustain the belief that a day spent writing is a day well spent? How about a morning spent writing? Does it hamstring your “real” work, and leave you sheepish?
I’m starting a writing group – The Write Without the Fight Club
I’m starting a writing community. If you know me, you know I have opinions (and research) about what keeps us from writing at certain phases of the creative process. There is a whole field of science dedicated to better understanding our creativity and how to enhance and empower it. I have my Masters of Science in Creativity, so I know a few creativity hacks.
I’m also a certified creativity coach, so I can do the insightful handholding it might take to get you over the hump on any given day.
In this group, I offer you both! I feel so strong about this offering, because I know what writers need:
- Periodic help, and then to be left alone
- Tools, coaching and support so we don’t get stuck or stay stuck
- Something affordable so we don’t feel bad about “indulging” this creative habit
- A place to ask our “stupid” questions and find acceptance and answers
- A small group of writers dedicated to helping one another
- Help clarifying, ideating, developing and implementing everything from a poem to a screenplay to a rap song to a novel or TED talk.
- We are storytellers all – and we want to cruise all the way through our creative process to success.
If you’re interested – go here for more information. If you have a comment or question, you can leave it in my FB group – Write Without the Fight, and I’ll see and respond there.