When did “WHY” become a noun?

Writing is hard, solitary and demanding. There are going to be times when you feel like giving up, deleting everything, or pretending, while drinking gins and tonics, that you never cared about writing anyway.

It may all seem hopeless. Pointless. Your ego will begin to twist your sense of despair into some kind of win, like: Now I can really focus on tatting lace, which I’ve always ALWAYS wanted to learn anyway.

This is the moment when you need your BIG WHY. (And as much as it pains me, I’m using “why” as a noun. Go with it, it’s a trend…)

Your BIG WHY should be considered and codified before you…

  • hit rock bottom
  • hit the sundae bar for a second banana split
  • or hit delete on a beautifully started, if somewhat muddled manuscript.

Find Your Why

Why do you write? Why do you do anything you do? What matters to you about this endeavor? To be H, not writing wouldn’t drive you to distraction if it weren’t really important to you. We are all driven to become what we can imagine we’re capable of being. 

“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”                      ~ Abraham Maslow

We all work to self-actualize. We unconsciously and persistently work to become actually what we can visualize.

So while this work persists in the background, it will help you to understand – and keep aware of your BIG WHY.

Are you writing to educate? entertain? inspire? kill time? These are all perfectly good reasons to write.

  • Education could lead you to write how-to’s or push you to write stories that illuminate a misunderstood experience. Spike Lee writes to educate. It doesn’t mean his stories aren’t entertaining, but from what I can see, his “why” is education.
  • Entertaining? Amy Poehler lives to entertain. So does Jim Carrey or a phenomenal dog act. 
  • Inspiration? Who do we know that writes to inspire? Barack Obama comes to mind. Rachel Carson in The Silent Spring.
  • Killing time? may not be the noblest why – but if it is your why, just admit that so you can enjoy the passage of time, while writing. For some, it is just a puzzle they enjoy spending time with, whether or not things are ever published or read.
  • Some write to capture family stories for generations to come.
  • And of course, there’s self-expression, a way of thinking on paper, sorting the universe, and/or money.

There are as many why’s as there are writers. Understanding and acknowledging yours can help you stay at it when you feel dispirited, hopeless, tired of it all.

How to find your why

Find the why that underlies all of your writing. And by “all of your writing,” I basically mean all the writing you do for yourself, not necessarily the writing you do at work or for a client.

Why do you write?

You really have to dig, dig dig. Just saying “I love writing” is not enough. (Unless you’re 6 years old, then, ok.) More likely you have an emotional driver – your BIG WHY – that makes it possible for you to forgo television in the evenings with your family, or to set the alarm clock to steal an hour of writing before you start your “real” work.

Let’s figure this out the old fashioned way – with pen and paper. Put your writing goal at the top of the page. Frame the goal in this language: 

It would be great if…

That helps you strive for your greatest aspiration without kickback from your ego.

Now answer the question “why?” at least 5 times.

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why else?

Stick with this simple question until you feel something. This is not a “thinking” why, this is an emotional why. You should be able to feel it, somewhere in your body. 

Your heart quickens. Your eyes smile. You belly clenches. You breathe in deeply, unconsciously. You’ve found your why. Usually this is very closely linked to who you are, and how you operate. You’re not inventing this why, you’re simply, consciously noticing it.

Why do you need to know your why?

As I mentioned at the onset of this post your BIG WHY is what you draw on when your writing well runs dry. It helps you remember something intrinsically linked to you (only you can do this) but also bigger than you (the world needs my writing.) And this BIG WHY can help you finish your work, despite obstacles.

But there’s another big reason. Many of us have too many ideas. Often, when you’re successful people pull you in too many directions. Being solidly aware of your BIG WHY can help you pick and choose the right ideas and say yes to the right opportunities. (And no to the ones that lead you away, lead you astray.)

Another good reason? When you know your BIG WHY, you can use that driver in other parts of your life. This insightful gift can make your life much more fulfilling, but it can also help you build a platform for your work. If you’re actively pursuing progress within a well-defined BIG WHY, you are likely connecting with potential readers who share your interests.

Skip the Big Butt

Now, “butt” is a noun, but of course, I meant to say the Big But, (“but” isn’t a noun, and not as funny.) Let’s get to the bottom of this Big Butt. I mean the objections that spring to mind as soon as you decide you know what you want… “Yeah, but…”

Once you found your BIG WHY, it is easier to steer clear of excuses.

  • Yeah, but I don’t have time
  • Yeah, but I’ll never make any money with this
  • Yeah, but I’m too old
  • Yeah, but writing books is practically prehistoric

Yes, it’ll be hard. Yes there are things to overcome, but there’s a very good reason you want to do this.

Know your BIG WHY – and embroider it on a pillow, express it in a poster or collage. You need to be able to remember it when the going gets tough.

Did you find your BIG WHY? Do you want help? Get the Mighty Little Book, Pick and Stick to One Idea, and you’ll find printable exercises, quick videos to help you find your clarity and your BIG WHY.