2020 has not become what I thought it would. I thought – after losing my dogs, my dad, my father-in-law, going through an audit and breaking my arm in 2019 – that it was going to be MY year. I thought I was going to get everything I wanted. Instead, it has become the year I recognize and appreciate everything I have.

“In the face of uncertainty, there is nothing wrong with hope”.

~ O. Carl Simonton

We are in uncertain times. (What we wouldn’t give for “precendented” times!) We can’t take another first, worst or WTF. I don’t need to identify everything that is wrong with the world right now. You know what I’m talking about. You have a list of obstacles and anxiety-producing realties. I have a list – my house is small and my family is large. My dog barks during Zoom calls. I’ve gained weight. I’m sick of cooking. And we have a shared list – the pandemic, BLM, political and world news.

We cannot predict or control what is going to happen. Reality is, we never could. But now, we’re glaringly aware that we can’t.

When the shelter-in-place orders were first mandated, people dreamed up ways to “kill the time.” We were all going to learn a second language, finally organize the pantry, write a novel, exercise daily.  Those ideas were firm in our heads – clear and demanding. And yet we didn’t get off the couch. It wasn’t just procrastinating. It was more than that. It was – all – debilitating. Before long, we were all bingewatching everything.

Why? Bec we’re legitimately anxious. So much could go wrong. Nothing we do can prevent all the disasters we dream up. Anxiety and fear locks your brain into a survival/stress mode and can literally lock you out of your higher, problem-solving, thinking brain.

Find hope. Find calm. Find certainty.

How? Nothing in the world around is going to change, er, well yes, everything around us will change. But we can’t prevent or predict the changes. So, how to let it all go? It will “go” whether or not you let it.

For now, there is only this moment. This place. This being. I am healthy. Alive. In sunny California. And this blog is going pretty well. There is only NOW. Right, right now, I’m certain I can survive for a while. And that is as much as I need. For NOW. 

What about your now? What are your physical sensations? What thoughts arise? What can you appreciate? What can you change? What can you let go?

Take a minute and do an actual inventory!

  • If you have disquieting thoughts, turn to Byron Katie for help with turnarounds. (See More Here.)
  • If you have physical discomforts, how can you make a change?
  • And are there pleasant thoughts and sensations that you’re ignoring  or discrediting?
  • Is anything actually wrong right now, right where you are?
  • Are there things right and good with your right now?

How is your now?

Right now, I’m not too hot, nor too cold. I’ve just had a nice lunch. And I have a beautiful dog (who barks too much) and a fun and funny family (who all live and work in our small house 24/7), and I’m sick of cooking. That’s true. But I’m not cooking now! Right now, I have everything I need.

And when I make long-term plans, I feel hope. It actually doesn’t matter if I can make those plans happen. Making them still matters. It gives me hope.

When I write, I find certainty. I engage.

I can’t control the world, but I can control this sentence, and this paragraph. I can master the keyboard, the cursor, and the letters – all my minions, all acting on my whim. I regain power – for now – and control. My day becomes mine again.

I hope, in the face of uncertainty and fear, you can find comfort, calm and peace. There is only now. What is good about your now? Come tell us in FB – chatting about all things writing in our Write Without the Fight group.