I’ll just be a gusher… I love our Write Without the Fight community. I love the momentum my clients share, and the enthusiasm in our Write Without the Fight FB Group.

Our kind of love is about romancing our writing. Can we woo it out into the open? Can we call the perfect words to mind? Can we be cunning and charming as we write? I’ve been obsessed with Meet-cutes lately bec what is more fascinating than how men and women interact?

What’s your favorite Meet-Cute, that awkward trope when two people meet and it’s love-(or hate-)at-first-sight?

We all love that moment when eyes meet and it’s true love instantly, like Romeo & Juliet, Mean Girls and Love Actually. 

Or the guy spills OJ on the movie star who’s way out of his league, but invites her to his apartment to clean up… Notting Hill.

We’ve all shared an elevator with a “perfect” stranger? What made this encounter so different in 500 Days of Summer?  Or the opposite, the meet-cute happens and then we wait a lo-o-o-o-ng time before love develops, i.e. Pride & Prejudice, He’s Just Not That Into You, Groundhog Day and When Harry Met Sally .

Why do we love Meet-Cutes?

They are awkward, funny and subvert the usual dictums of who a man might chase – the goofy, clumsy girl for once – and who a woman might choose – the nerdy guy with the dumb job.

Men chase. Women choose.

This observable, behavioral and psychological trend exists, per sociological research, across cultures. It is shown to be a central part of our species survival. This biological imperative is how our species continues to sustain a broad range of pairings for species health and genetic innovation. It is built in to the gender code for mating, and species protection. Men ‘chase’ to insure procreation. Women ‘choose’ to insure natural selection and propagation of the finest DNA. (NOTE: The inherent differences between men and women are observed and documented, and yet they absolutely don’t hold true to a person. We can all subvert these norms.)

Thus our love of the meet-cute. Men chase. Women choose. Unless, accidentally the woman rams right into the handsome man, the most eligible bachelor in the room. She has chased. She is redeemed by the fact that she didn’t purposely chase him bec of his social standing. He is a Duke – though she clearly had no idea. And he chooses her, bec it is refreshing that she is the only young woman at the ball, not laying a marital trap for him. I refer to Bridgerton. (LOVE!)

Another example of the role a woman’s choice can play, is in the movie Vice. Dick Cheney was drinking, puking, driving and generally living a despicable life in Wyoming. He was married, already. It was his wife, Lynne, who said, “All I get in this life is one choice. I get to choose who I marry. And if you think you were my only option, think again. Every day, you’re out there making a fool out of me, proving I made a poor choice.”

Dick was very hungover and miserable. “Did I make a poor choice?” she harangued, “Am I going to be disappointed in you? Or can you make it your business to prove I chose right.” (Paraphrased scene from the movie VICE.)

How does this biological predisposition affect our creativity, our writing? From here, I can only pose questions, bec there is no research that defines the role of this biological phenomenon on creative thinking. But let’s think about it…

If men chase… how does it affect creativity in men? And which men? To what degree? And why are there varying degrees in something ingrained? Do men chase contracts? agents? opportunities better? Are they more likely to be Implementers? Clarifiers? Are they more goal-oriented, and how does that show up in their creative process? Are men “blocked” by different things?

If women choose… how does that affect creativity in women? Again, one wants to know, which women and why? Are women more likely to be perfectionist (choosier) or consider themselves “out of line” if they chase. Are women more likely to be Ideators or Developers? Are they more frequently convergent than men? Does writer’s block present itself differently for women?

These numbers are not in the research, bec though the neurological and psychological differences between men and women are well-studied, how it impacts creativity remains unstudied. Still I pose the questions, out of love for us all, struggling along in this ballroom, we call life. Writing and dancing our way through to find our best life. All I can say is, vive la difference.

Also, this blog was originally intended for Valentine’s Day – when all of this would have made more sense. And yet… there’s some grist in this mill. Come to the WWTF FB Group and let me know what you think about it. And if you’d like to write with me and my group of Mighty Writers – email or message you, and I’ll show you how.