Hi, I’m Julia and I’m a writer. That comes with drama, doubt, fear and even shame. And yet, I still want to write. Makes no sense, right?
From the time of my first book publication – 2008 – I knew I was going to figure out this writing thing – the emotional side – and be able to write and publish more books.
I was not going to let resistance play a bigger role in my life than my actual writing.
But where to start? Because my first book was a self-help book for mothers, many people – including my editor – asked me if was a life coach. No, I wasn’t. But I looked into it. I didn’t feel like I had to be a life coach – writers don’t have to BE the things they write about. Still, I was drawn to it – life coaching was going to iron out my anxieties and rid me of resistance and help me attract the kind of life I wanted. I knew I was squarely in my own way, so I signed up.
In the course of being trained as a coach, I got lots of coaching myself. My mental state and effectiveness improved.
But I wasn’t done. I still wanted to be a writer and I needed to know more about my own creativity. You can only eat ice cream on the couch for so long before you realize something’s gotta give. Somehow drinking is much more exciting and writerly than just eating too much. Don’t you think? But alas, I don’t drink – I quit in 2003.
Eventually, I studied with Eric Maisel to become a creativity coach. He opened my eyes to a way I could help the people I really cared about – blocked creative people, or creative people with big dilemmas and indecision. That was so exciting. I was getting there.
I could help the people I really cared about – blocked creative people, or creative people with big dilemmas and indecision.
Finally, and sort of on a whim, I decided to enroll in graduate school for a Masters in the Science of Creativity. I mean, who knew such a thing existed? I heard about it in January, already after the deadline for applications, but I begged, and got my application in within the week, and I was sitting in a classroom with my cohort in June of 2011. I had no idea how revolutionary this knowledge would become. 30 years after I graduated from college, I was in a classroom again for the first time. And after that first day, I drove down to Rochester NY for my 30-year college reunion. It was an odd day.
Here I am. I know how creativity works. And I’m writing the things I want to be writing. I still have resistance. I still don’t know if I’m good “enough.” But I am more aware of the stories I tell myself, and I let myself live large(r).
I have achieved a thing I didn’t know I wanted. I finally write more often than I resist.
More of my day I compose words on a screen than reasons in my head. I am happier with the stories I tell myself. Which side of this balance are you? More writing or more resisting? More writing or more wishing you were writing? Join the conversations about it all in the FB Group – Write Without the Fight. See you in there.
